There are times
"Dear Julian,
There are times that I go gaga, out of the system. I don't shout, but I let things sink. I cry at Ludwig's shoulders, and he needs all the patience that he doesn't actually have, to calm me down, back to the orbit.
There are times I want to scream my lungs out, but I can't, they are locked and I don't hold the key. Blame it on the education I had. It's unpolite for a girl to shout. And when I actually tried, my father ( bless him! ) would shout back. Call it a case for dr. Freud, but the fact is that I cannot shout at anyone. When I am angry, I am bitter and caustic, but I never shout.
There are times all I need is a hug. Everybody needs such things. My college stands in a very busy and always traffic-jammed avenue, so grey that I get mad just looking to it. When I am mad, that makes me depressed...REALLY depressed. I want to shout and yet I can't. I am afraid that something is so wrong with me I cannot match it.
I wanted you to know that you are the only one who needs a pair of arms around yourself. I wish I was there before to help you. I really wish. But now that you are far away, with your own built family, all I can do is wish you well. There are times when all you need is a word. I hope it's not too late for us, and the feelings we share.
Bless ya, cousin!
Anna"